North Star
by hotsauce421
Summary: Only two things filled me with dread. The first was the pain my death would cause the ones I loved. And the second was losing Jacob forever. For this reason I would not surrender, even though I knew it was a losing battle.
1. Preface

Preface

I never thought I would die in a Cathedral.

Of course, I wasn't supposed to die at all. It wasn't that I'd never considered the possibility, but it was always so unlikely; I didn't think about it often. Not my own death, anyway. I often worried about Jacob—Jacob, who was only immortal as long as he stayed, who was vulnerable, who could be killed more easily than any of us. _My _Jacob.

My best friend, and yet, so much more than that.

The church doors opened, and I knew who was entering to greet me. The ravenous monster's desire for revenge would not be satiated until I was soaking in my own blood. And I was alone.

That part was my fault. I shouldn't have been so rash. I should never have come here by myself without telling anyone. I should have listened to my parents and to Jacob. But since I did all the things I shouldn't have, and none of the things I should have, I was going to die. That fact in itself did not scare me. Only two things filled me with dread. The first was the pain my death would cause the ones I loved. I never meant to hurt them like this.

And the second was losing Jacob forever. For this reason I would not surrender to the killer, even though I knew it was a losing battle.

I heard her low growl from behind.


	2. One: New Home

Timeless, Alaska.

A small town near the Canadian border, due east of Fairbanks. The population barely reaches 1,000. There are sunless winters and moonless summers in Timeless. The temperature rarely rises above 70 degrees in July, and always falls below zero in January. The sun is a rare entity.

Timeless.

As my family pulled into our new driveway, I gave the town a different name. _Hell. _There was nothing for miles, except for the forest. And, of course, the high school, which my grandfather, Carlisle, made sure to stop by on our way. I wasn't aware that a town this size could have a school.

I pulled my biggest suitcase out of the trunk of my father's Volvo. The sheer weight of it—and I'm pretty strong—nearly caused me to lose my footing. Emmett, my uncle, saw my struggle and grabbed the suitcase from me to carry it in his arms, along with what seemed to be every single possession he owned. Emmett was the strongest of us. I suppose I was the weakest.

I didn't thank Emmett for relieving me of my burden; I was too wrapped up in my own self-pity. My mother took note of this. "You've been huffing and puffing the entire ride from New Hampshire," she said. "What's going on?"

She was carrying about a dozen of her own heavy boxes into the house as she spoke to me. I followed her inside, grabbing a couple cases of my own. We came to my room first, and I set my stuff down on the floor to speak to her. "This whole moving thing seems kind of pointless," I said.

"You know we can't stay in one place for more than a few years," she said.

"That's not what I meant." She and Dad had just gotten degrees in Biology from Dartmouth University—no easy feat. And now they were going to do high school again? And I was supposed to pose as their _sister_? This whole human farce we put up was far too elaborate to make any sense. There was a chance that I was projecting my anger at not having any human friends—if a human saw me go from newborn to teenager in four years, they'd know something was up.

"I know you were happy in our last home," Mom said. "And in Forks."

Forks. We'd only lived there for a short time when I was little, before Dartmouth came calling. That's where Jacob's family lived.

Jacob.

"Ah, I see now." A new voice came into the room.

"Stay out of my head, Dad," I demanded.

He was correct in his assumption, though. Jacob's absence was the true reason for my newfound petulance. I'd never been away from him for so long before—a whole week. I wasn't sure if I could survive, and I was immortal. I _needed _Jacob with me, and it was a need I felt in the deepest pit of my soul. Not as a lover—he didn't think of me in that way—but as a best friend who was so much more than a friend, so much more than even a brother.

My dad groaned so lightly that I pretended not to hear. He often did that when Jacob entered my mind, perhaps repulsed by the intensity of my thoughts. I didn't ask what his problem was. He and Jacob were friends, though theirs was more of a "friendly enemy" kind of relationship.

"She's missing him," Dad said out loud to Mom.

"Shut up!" I commanded. The last thing I wanted was for either of them sit down and talk with me about this. I'd rather wallow for a week until he came. Wallow…and worry. What if being away from us caused Jacob to stop phasing? That would mean that he'd become mortal, and if Jacob were mortal, he would die one day. If I couldn't stand a week away from him, how would I deal with an eternity?

Dad sighed, and I wondered why I hadn't learned to shield myself from him yet. They hadn't taught me. "You know that's not how it works," he said to me, speaking of werewolf, or shapeshifter, magic. "He'd have to be away for years in order to stop phasing."

Mom wrapped me in a hug, clearly understanding my dilemma. I hugged back, patting her on the shoulder as I did. The gesture made me feel a little better, but the sting of Jacob's absence didn't go away. That was beyond my control.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm being a brat, I know."

Mom—Bella, which I would have to start calling her now—tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Sweetie, you don't have to apologize for being in love." She smiled and her eyes travelled toward my father.

"No, no, no, no," I said quickly. Maybe she didn't understand quite as well as I thought. "I'm not…_in love_ with him, I just…I love him. A lot. As a friend."

Dad, or Edward, laughed and stepped behind me to give me a neck rub. "You don't have to apologize for that, either," he said. "Though he might."

I abruptly turned around to face him, appalled by his animosity. I'd heard it before, but it was tiring. "He loves me. He wants what's best for me."

"Of that I have no doubt," Edward said, tapping his temple. He looked into Jacob's thoughts more often than mine, I guess to make sure my friend's intentions were honest. I didn't understand, though, if Edward trusted Jacob, why Edward would have a problem with the way our relationship was developing.

A new body appeared in the room—my aunt Alice had raced up here to join us. "All done," she said, referring to the move-in process.

I was a little surprised. "Took you all of five minutes," I said. I'd seen her do a lot more in two.

"Emmett and Rosalie delayed us," she said, and suddenly I understood. Those two weren't exactly discreet about their relationship. You would think that since they had forever to do all that they could hold it off for a few seconds, but Emmett and Rose weren't like that. They gave in to their passions—well, except for the desire for human blood—whenever those passions called.

Not that the rest of them were shy of affection. My mom and dad were sickening to watch at times.

"I came up to offer Ness her starting high school gift," Alice said.

I looked at my parents. My dad smirked; obviously, he had known that this was coming. My mom must have, as well, because she didn't react with any surprise; she only held onto Edward's arm and waited for a reaction from me.

"Everyone else is starting high school, too," I said. And we would all pretend to be foster brothers and sisters. At the same time, all of them, but not me, would be passionately in love with one of their "siblings." Our lives would go on like this until the end of time. Of course, their would be respite between schools—it wasn't a complete nightmare. But if we were going to live among humans, we'd have to live _as _humans.

"Ah…but it's your first time," Alice said. "That calls for a special occasion."

Emmett came bursting into the room, something huge, as big as he was, in his arms. It was a long fixture, onyx-colored wood, coated in a silky finish. It took me a minute to realize what it was: a new baby grand piano. Jasper came up behind him, carrying the bench that went with the instrument.

I was absolutely floored as they set my gift down. I stared at the piano for a moment, taking in its marvel and beauty. The overall black was mixed with gold in the pedals and hammers. The keys were an angelic white; they had never been touched, as far as I could tell. Not a fingerprint was visible—and I had good vision for those kinds of flaws.

"You like it," Alice said, asking for my confirmation.

"It's…uh…I…" I couldn't find the words I was searching for, perhaps because they didn't exist.

"She loves it," Edward spoke for me. That word was completely inadequate. _Love_ was a trivial term. I believed in something greater—and that something was exactly how I'd describe this moment.

I didn't notice that the rest of the family had entered. I didn't wait to be asked; I just sat down on the bench and began to play. I played the first song my father had taught me, just a year ago, a lullaby he had written for my mother. I couldn't see how closely everyone was watching or listening; I only knew how…_right_…it felt for my fingers to once again be gliding across a keyboard, except this time it was the keyboard of my own piano…all mine.

I'd have to compose sometime, I decided. Not a lullaby. A hymn, or a psalm. Something that would characterize absolute devotion. Something to describe the way I felt the way words could not. The way I felt about my family, my parents, my friends…my Jacob.

When the song had finished, I was greeted by a silence that I hadn't realized was ever there. My parents stood behind me in awe, their arms around each other's shoulders. Alice and Jasper were ending some sort of playful dance. Carlisle and Esme were embracing tightly. The only ones who were absent were Rosalie and Emmett—and I could guess what they were up to.

As I stood up, it occurred to me that I would not be the baby of the family for much longer. Even though I was not six-years-old yet chronologically, I had the body (and mind) of a sixteen or seventeen-year-old. In less than a year, I would stop growing forever, like them. Unlike them, though: there was blood flowing through my veins, and there always would be. I had a beating heart, and a body that would always be able to change when it needed.

_They_ thought I was lucky this way. I didn't think of it like that. All my human-ness meant was that I had a layer of vulnerability that they didn't have.

Arms encroached around me…Edward's, I realized. He had heard the last part of my self-dialogue. Blood rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment. He tried to give me privacy, but sometimes I didn't make it easy for him. Alice was trying to teach me the best ways to shield thoughts from him, but that was difficult to do.

I gestured toward the piano. "Thanks guys," I said. "It's beautiful. The best gift you could have gotten me." Well…the second best.

That I'd trade a baby grand piano for a week with Jacob when we already had forever said a lot about me. And yet I _insisted_ we were just friends. We were. Jacob had known me since I was a baby; he thought of me as a little sister.

Edward didn't mention that wee bit of ungratefulness. One of the best things about him was that he never got on to me for _thinking_ bad things.

I went to feel the keys when Alice hugged me, causing me to grunt instinctively. "I'm so glad you love it," she said. "I was worried."

Alice could see the future, so she always found the right gifts for everyone. But she couldn't see _me. _She couldn't see werewolves, either. I was not naïve enough to believe those facts had nothing to do with each other.

She looked around at my room, still full of boxes. "You should get moved in," she said. She faced my father. "You're not as fast as you used to be." That was a joke. My father was still the fastest vampire out of all of us. He proved it every time we had a baseball game.

My parents raced to see who could get the most done in the shortest amount of time. I followed, but I was in no hurry. They had their room done in just over a minute; I was done in 15. Not that I wasn't fast like they were—that was one of the abilities Edward had passed on to me—but it was easier to concentrate on daydreams when I wasn't concentrating on speed.

When I was finished, I lied back in my bed and gave myself fully over to those daydreams. It was late, and I was tired… I thought about the time the Volturi came after us…or, _me,_ to be exact…how safe it felt on Jacob's back…the wolf's unspoken promise to protect me…the horror we both felt for my parents…the way I clung tightly to his fur coat, never wanting to let go…

I hung on as the sun fell and it grew dark outside my window—as sleep greeted me, I was still clutching the russet-colored wolf as if my entire life depended on it.

----

I had two days to get used to Timeless before school started. To say the least, that was an impossible task—especially since I needed a fair amount of sleep, unlike the rest of my family, who could keep exploring into the night if they wanted to.

I spent those two days getting supplies for classes; Carlisle took all of us. I didn't get much, just some notebooks, pencils, and folders. I figured it would be easier to get the rest of the supplies as I needed them. It wouldn't be a problem in a town this size. There weren't any chain stores in Timeless, only a few privately-owned shops down Main Street—one of the three roads in town.

When I woke up on the first day of school, I found some clothes that I'd never seen before hanging on my closet doorn knob, along with a note. _Wear these today,_ it said in Alice's handwriting.

I sighed, examining the outfit. She had left a silky green blouse, v-neck, that ruffled and folded in the sides, and a pair of new light jeans—thank goodness for _that, _because I didn't wear skirts—that I could tell right away would fit snugly, even with my skinny rear. On the floor underneath them was a pair of black pumps, certain to add five inches to my height.

I put them on and looked at myself in the full-length mirror in my room. I hated to admit it—but I did look kind of good. Hot, even. I had my thick, out-of-control, golden-auburn colored curls tied back so that they wouldn't hide my pale face. Normally one of the shortest people in the room, the shoes gave me average height. The blouse accentuated the curves of my torso—I was lean, but not too skinny. The jeans made it look as if I wasn't all skin and bones in my legs.

I wondered how Alice had an uncanny ability to pick the perfect outfit for everyone she ran across, even if she couldn't see their future. She had probably laid out my mom's outfit, as well.

Regret passed through me briefly. I would have wanted Jacob to see me in this. Then I wondered why I wanted such a thing, when it was clear that we were just friends. It seemed as if my whole family rebelled against the idea, like they believed there was more to us. I never let my mind go to the point of imagining what it would be like to have Jacob as more than a friend; I didn't know whether or not I'd want more if I allowed myself those thoughts.

I smelled bacon and eggs downstairs. I grabbed my bookbag and was in the kitchen in two seconds, grabbing a plate. Carlisle was cooking for me. Breakfast was the only human meal I ate everyday. My taste buds didn't adjust to the new day until late morning, so the thought of eating at seven didn't make me cringe like it did at night.

Carlisle shuffled two strips of bacon and an egg sunny-side-up onto my plate. As soon as I sat down, Rosalie was in the seat next to me.

"I see Alice has taken care of you, too," she said.

I nodded. Rose was wearing a red shirt, cut low and stretching down her thights, dark blue jeans, and red heels. She was the epitome of beauty. "You, too?" I asked.

"I can't stop her when she wants to play dress-up," she said.

The juices in the bacon I was eating were pleasing to my tongue. I couldn't really taste the flavoring, not all that well, but I liked feeling the hot liquid as it made its way down my throat. Rosalie watched me eat, most likely envious of my ability to do just that.

"I'm riding with you and Emmett today," I said. It was a statement, not a question. I didn't want to ride with my mom and dad, and that left either Alice or Rose. I loved them both, but Rose, who had grown up as sort of a nanny for me, was my best friend other than Jacob.

"Of course," she agreed.

Emmett came in, rushing behind Rose and giving her a shoulder rub. They kissed quickly but passionately right in front of me. I pretended to make a gagging noise to get their attention. They broke the kiss, and Emmett slid his way over to me. I had just finished my meal.

"You don't like that much, do ya?" he teased me. He grabbed Rosalie's arm and she stood up. Right there, they started making out. I could even see the profile of her tongue rolling around in his cheek. Gross.

I stood up and walked to the sink, not even looking at them.

"Eww…get a room." Alice was here. Rosalie and Emmett, their plan for making me lose my breakfast having failed, broke apart. Alice bypassed them, speeding straight to me. "You look absolutely stunning. I'm a genius, aren't I? Just say it."

I rolled my eyes. Best to humor her. "Yes, you _are_ a genius."

"Everyone at school's going to wonder how you're so beautiful," she said.

"I'll make sure to mention your name," I joked.

"You're going to thank me for this." She winked at me, which almost always meant there was a surprise in store.

I braced myself. "What did you do?" I asked, making sure there was a tone of disapproval in my voice. Alice liked surprises a little bit _too_ much. She liked…occasions.

She tried to give me her best I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about look—in fact, it might have _been_ her best—and she automatically gave herself away. I knew that something was going on. I also knew that she wasn't going to tell me what that something was.

Before I could prod her any further, Emmett joined us, holding up his car keys in his hands. "We're almost late," he said. Not that _almost late_ meant anything to a vampire.

I looked at the model of car the keys he was holding was for. "You're driving the BMW?" I asked.

Rosalie grabbed the keys from his hands. "Absolutely not," she said. "My car, I drive."

Emmett acquiesced to Rosalie's demand, not that he had a choice. Taking his Jeep Wrangler to school would have been a bit less subtle, although not much. Rosalie drove more slowly than Emmett, but she was still a Cullen.

That was one thing about my family: we liked to be _fast._

So it was no surprise that we made to school on time, _just_ on time. I had to run (at a human speed) to my first class, Biology, which I shared with my parents. They had gotten to school in plenty of time to whisper sweet nothings to each other before the teacher even entered the room. Of course, they'd be lab partners. I sat down as far away from them as possible, but that didn't stop them from looking back and smiling and nodding at me all throughout class.

A nightmare, indeed. At least if I fell behind, they could help me. They were experts in this subject. I didn't plan to fall behind, though. I was going to do this high school thing the right way.

I couldn't get out of that class fast enough when the bell rang. I loved my parents, very much in fact, but talking to them like I was their sister would take some getting used to. I wasn't going to do that in public until I felt completely at ease with it.

I had trigonometry next; though I hadn't taken any math classes yet, Carlisle had some documents forged—Algebra was a bit under my level—and I was placed in this class. I didn't share the class with anyone in my family, so when I took my seat—at a table, for there were no desks in the classroom—I got a notebook out and wrote the date in the header of the first page. I barely noticed when someone sat down next to me and stared at me as I wrote. I didn't feel his gaze.

But I did feel his fingers tap me on the elbow, startling me. I looked up to see the offender of my personal space, and my eyes caught the familiar, beautiful face: the short-cropped black hair, the brown eyes, the olive-toned skin…

"Jacob!" I yelped, unable to contain my excitement. So _this_ was what Alice's secret was this morning.

He was standing, about to sit down in the seat next to me. Before he could, though, I hopped up and attacked him with a ferocious hug. His gruntled "ugh" satisfied me, but not as much as how he squeezed me more tightly than anyone else ever did. His body was warm around mine—everyone else felt cold to me.

We sat down when we separated. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well," he said, "I haven't actually finished high school yet."

"I thought you went to high school in La Push," I said, remembering the time I had lived in Forks. It seemed like so long ago.

"I did," he said. His voice turned into a whisper. "When you were born I took some time off, and I guess I never got back into the swing of things—and then you went to New Hampshire, so of course I had to go, but you weren't in school then, so I waited…"

"And now you're back here because you wanted to finish school with _me?_" I spoke in a hushed tone, as well. If anyone overheard us…well, they probably _wouldn't_ figure out our story, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Pretty much, yeah."

The bell rang and the entire class was silent as the door clicked shut. The teacher was a man, probably in his sixties, with unkempt white hair accompanied by a shaggy mustache. I knew by my printed-out schedule that his name was Dr. Cooke (the Dr. part had not been lost on me), and he looked every bit the college mathematics professor-slash-Einstein clone. He smelled better than I imagined Einstein, though…or maybe that was just his blood.

_Don't. Think. About. Blood,_ I scolded myself. I'd have plenty of time to hunt this weekend—until then, I just had to survive on a human diet.

Dr. Cooke outlined the class objectives. Trig seemed remarkably easy and boring to me; I skimmed through the text book and saw that I already knew most of what we were going to learn. After introducing the course, Dr. Cooke had all the students introduce _themselves,_ though I hardly got the point of such formalities in a school this size. Didn't everyone already know everyone?

It didn't help that he pointed at me first. "You're a new face," he said. "What brings you to our neck of the woods?"

Now public speaking was not my strong suit; in fact, it was my greatest fear. I didn't really need to use speech much around my family—long monologues were best _thought,_ rather than _spoken. _But the method I used at home wouldn't fly here, leaving me with no choice.

"Um…my name is Renesmee," I started, and then paused as several students snickered.

"Nez-what?" asked a girl sitting in back. She was unnaturally pretty for a human, with her skinny frame, blonde (dyed, I noticed) hair, blue eyes, and packed-on make-up. Several other girls around her laughed at her interruption.

"Reh-nez-may," I clarified, keeping my voice soft. "Renesmee Cullen. I'm uh…" I searched my memory, "I'm sixteen. A junior. I'm from Washington. I was just put with a foster family here." I stopped, not knowing if I should continue, or what to say if I did. Thankfully, Dr. Cooke's eyes turned away from me, toward Jacob.

He was a lot more comfortable with words than I was. "I'm Jacob Black. I'm eighteen—" he winked at me as he said that lie—"I'm also a junior, took some time off for a couple years. I'm from Washington, as well. I moved here recently." I heard someone make a clicking sound with her mouth. I looked around, and saw that the blonde was staring intently at Jacob, smiling and licking her lips.

The rest of the class followed suit in their introductions. Almost all of them had lived in Timeless their whole lives, or somewhere close to it, which made me feel like even more of an outsider. I really did _want_ to make human friends here, but I had a gut feeling that was going to be impossible.

The blonde was the last to speak. "I'm Veronica Grey," she said, training her eyes on Jacob. Jacob met them, as if they were having a conversation. "I'm sixteen and a junior. I've lived here all my life; my dad's the mayor of Timeless." Her lips curved up in a seductive smile. I was not blind to her intentions, and I felt a sharp pain rise up in my throat that was gone as soon as it had come. My eyes stung, but I had that under control in a few seconds as well.

I had known her less than an hour, and I already hated Veronica. I spent the rest of the class assuring myself that this hatred was not borne from jealousy.


	3. Two: An Old Friend

**Author's Notes: **So thanks for all the replies. I tend to write lengthy chapters, so if there's a lag between posting times, that's why. I want everything I post to be absolutely perfect, which is impossible. The lengthiness is due to my inability to know when to shut up! Anyway, here's chapter two. Read, and if you'd like, leave a reply. I welcome them.

* * *

My opinion of Timeless changed that morning when all the reason for my former surliness was gone. Alaska wasn't hell. High school was going to be fine…better than fine, I was going to _enjoy_ my time here. Jacob was here and he would be here with me everyday. The only lament I had was that I would only spend two years here, not four like most people.

In two years, I might be ready to leave. Not right now. Not even this Veronica girl could change my happy mood. In my third period English class—another class I had with Jacob—I forgot all about my hatred of the mayor's daughter. Mrs. Freeman grouped us in pairs according to where we were sitting, and of course I was with Jacob. She then had us come up with questions and interview each other. With the way Jacob joked around with me and treated me like I was his favorite person in the world, Veronica seemed like a non-entity to me.

"Are you a dog peron or a cat person?" he asked with a wide grin stretching almost to his ears.

I pursed my lips and pretended to seriously consider the question. "Cat person," I said at last. "Dogs…well, you can't get their smell out." He hit me playfully on the shoulder. I leaned in closer to him. "I like how you smell, though," I whispered so softly that no one could hear but him.

"It's my new cologne," he said. "Brand name's _Wolf. _This scent is called 'Musky.'"

"Try it again tomorrow," I said, making a show to sniff him. Other students turned around to look at us, but only for a moment. I would not have known if I was behaving in a way that was particularly odd.

Jacob knew, though he acted as if he didn't care. "The fragrance will last longer than that," he said. "Your turn to ask a question."

I glanced down at the piece of notebook paper on which I had scribbled a few words. "If you were an animal, what would you be? Outside the canidae family."

"Human," he said almost immediately.

How did I know he was going to say that? Jacob took an abnormal amount of pride in his humanity—in mine, as well. He valued my family as human, too, though it hadn't always been that way. I guess such thoughts made him feel like we weren't monsters. But I wasn't going to let him get away with that answer.

"The nature of the question excludes humans," I said.

"Humans are animals," he said.

"Well, sure, if you want to get technical about it." He was having way too much fun messing with me. "But _I_ won't allow it. Now, give me a real answer."

He leaned back and looked at me thoughtfully. "Why don't you?" he said.

I blinked once or twice. "I asked the question."

"About me," he said. "You know me as well as anyone. I'm curious. What animal do you think I'd be?"

I couldn't believe he was turning this around on me. I, of course, would make him pay for this. I found myself yielding under his words, however. The answer was clear to me.

"A lion."

"A lion?" he repeated.

"Maybe I'll explain it some day," I said, poking him on the nose as I did. He glared at me, wanting to know more, but I wouldn't oblige him. Not this time. "But first…what animal do you think _I'd_ be?"

He laughed as if the question were the easiest in the world. "A dolphin." I stayed silent, waiting for more. "Oh no. You don't get what you aren't willing to give."

I grunted, but I did not give in. It was fun to watch him sweat it out for a while. If I had to squirm to watch him do so, it would be well worth it. Plus, I thought he looked cute whenever he was left wanting.

Before Jacob could ask the next question, the classroom door opened and in trotted a smug-looking Veronica—apparently an office assistant during this period—to drop off a note to Mrs. Freeman. Her gaze immediately fell upon Jacob, but this time Jacob did not stare back. He acted as if he could not see her, and the only way I knew he had noticed her was that he put his arm around me possessively, squeezing my shoulder in order to make a statement: _I belong to _her_._

A small gesture, yes, but one that I recognized for its true meaning. I shivered despite his warmth. Veronica trotted out the door, moving a bit quicker and stomping a bit louder than she had when she entered. I smiled, glad that Jacob had irked her.

We walked to lunch together after that class. The school was small enough to only have one lunch period, between third and fourth period, at eleven-twenty. There weren't many students in the halls, which were wide enough to be adequate for a large urban school. Finding my mom easy; she was putting her books up in her locker. When we approached her, I couldn't help but notice there was something odd—almost _frantic—_about the way she slammed her locker door.

"What's going on?" I asked, concern washing over me.

"Edward's upset about something," she said. The tone she used let me know that this something was serious, at least in my dad's view. Jacob grabbed my hand and squeezed. My mom looked at him. "He says we'll find out at lunch."

My face must have betrayed some bit of fear, because when my mom looked at me again, she smiled. "I'm sure it's nothing serious," she said. "He gets paranoid sometimes."

I could tell that she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince me. The three of us walked into the cafeteria, to where Edward was already seated. We took places at his table. Mom was right. He was deeply upset. He was holding up his head with his hand as if he were about to collapse. When I sat down, he looked up, and nothing could have prepared me for the agony in his eyes. He stared directly at me, unblinking, as he spoke. "I am so sorry," he said.

Jacob gripped my hand again, tightly, though careful not to cause me pain. "What?" he asked Edward, his voice sharp and authoritative, almost angry.

My dad didn't say anything, but his eyes shifted, and his stare locked onto something that was behind us. Jacob and I looked around to see what had captured Edward's attention. It didn't take long to realize what it was.

There, entering the cafeteria, was a man who appeared to be around twenty. He looked like a vampire, with his pale skin and dark, almost black, eyes. His dirty blonde hair was combed neatly and parted to the side. He was tall and skinny and unrealistically beautiful.

He certainly was not human, but I could smell the blood running through his veins.

It took me a moment to recognize him. This man was like me—half-vampire, half-human. He had saved my life years ago, when I was only months old, just by existing. And now he was here and his eyes were focused on us. He did not look dangerous, but there was concern printed on his face.

_Nahuel._

I froze in place as the beautiful figure walked toward us. Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, sat down at the table, all looking at him, staring because they knew instictively that something was not right. There were only a few reasons I could imagine for Nahuel to come here, and judging from my dad's reaction, the actual reason had to be the worst I could think of.

He had come to give us a warning.

A warning about what, I didn't know, but I could guess. The Volturi were coming was the foremost in my mind.

My father snarled as soon as that thought had come.

Nahuel took the empty seat by Jacob. We all turned toward him, waiting for him to speak. He breathed in deeply, as if he were dreading what he had to say. "You are in danger," he said, his eyes on me. I knew he wasn't talking to the rest of my family…this was a direct statement to me. Jacob's grip on my hand tightened. I was quiet, waiting for him to continue. "Aro paid a visit to my father shortly after our last encounter. The two of them came to an agreement in order to save my father from a death sentence."

I now looked at my father, who knew what Nahuel was about to say. Edward's jaw was tight and fury was painted in the thin lines of his lips. "Joham agreed to spy on us," he said, disgust evident in his voice. "The Volturi wanted to know if Ness was safe." I knew he wasn't talking about _my_ safety, and the safety of everyone around me, the safety of the supernatural world I was a part of.

"But I _am_ safe," I argued. "He would have had no information to bring them."

"No," Nahuel agreed. "Not if he told the truth. But what did my father have to gain by the truth? If he came back to the Volturi and told them that they were wrong in their suspicions, that there was no further reason to follow your family, Caius would have had him killed right then and there. It was in his best interest to lie."

I swallowed. I heard a hiss from my mother, and a low growl rumbling in Jacob's throat. My heart pounded as I understood what Nahuel was saying. "What did he tell them?" I asked, though I awaited his answer with dread.

"He told Aro that the Cullens were having trouble…_controlling_ your appetite," Nahuel said. I could feel my heart slowing down as he continued. "He, uh, blamed you for the murders in upstate New Hampshire last year."

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. We all knew about the murder spree going on last year, and we were even planning to investigate when it started to get out of hand, knowing that it wasn't anything human committing the crimes. And then the murders stopped. There was nothing to investigate, not a trace of evidence to find the vampire or vampires responsible. We had moved on and prayed that it was over.

My dad spoke. "He was the one who killed them. Joham." Another growl emanated from Jacob. This time, it escaped his mouth, but it was low enough that no one outside of our table could hear.

"He convinced Aro that you had moved to Alaska so that you would have fewer interactions with humans," Nahuel said. "Aro then convened with Marcus and Caius, and they decided…that you had to die."

"Only they didn't want to get their hands dirty," Edward interrupted again.

Jacob spoke at last. "They sent Joham to hunt down Ness," he said, understanding what Nahuel was warning us about. Nahuel nodded. "Is he here now? In Timeless?"

"He's in Alaska," Nahuel said. "He doesn't know what town you're in yet."

My brain was starting to suffer from information overload. This was all too much. Joham was coming to kill me. And yet I knew he stood not a chance at succeeding. Surely the Volturi knew that, as well. To get to me, Joham would have to get past eight vampires and a werewolf—three if Seth and Leah made it here before him.

Unless…

Joham had three daughters with him that we knew about. If he had fathered others…well, the odds could change very quickly, especially if he had a son fighting with him. Males of my kind were venomous, females were not. Or, that was the theory. We didn't have enough subjects for it to be absolute fact. Nahuel was venomous, and he was strong enough to kill a vampire. If Joham had fathered another one—male or female—like him…I shuddered at the possibility.

Our table was quiet as we considered the story that he had come to bring us. We couldn't talk about our response now, not without Carlisle and Esme, but we couldn't very well go on talking about the weather. The result was almost complete silence for an endless moment. Around us, the noise and clammer of students eating, laughing, and talking played out as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. I was sure that some were talking about us. I was also sure Veronica was somewhere in here, plotting a way to get Jacob to pay attention to her.

I wanted so badly to focus on _that, _and not on the scenarios playing out in my head. If Joham did have an army of his sons and daughters, if my family was unprepared for what was to come… Could we be certain to have no losses? And what if, somewhere in the battle, Jacob was bitten? I could not bear to think furher about that possibility.

My dad's voice was the first sound any of us made. "Thank you, Nahuel," he said.

Nahuel rose from the table; my father's gratitude was also permission for him to leave. "I'll be around if you need me," he said, and made his way out of the cafeteria. I noticed that almost every student in school had their eyes on him as he walked.

A fist slammed on the table, making me jump. Jacob's. If it was anyone else's, the table would split in two. Jacob had enough control to just crack the wood, but not destroy it. A quick look around the room let us know that I wasn't the only one who had been startled.

"Way to be discreet, Dog," Rosalie said. Her lips were peeled back, revealing her perfect white teeth. Jacob didn't reply, to my surprise.

Mom did. "Please, Rose, now isn't the time for snide comments." It was something I could imagine Esme saying. "We're all on the same team here."

My head couldn't stay in one place. I felt like the world was closing in around me, and I couldn't escape. I couldn't move, not even to breathe.

My family was in danger. Again. It was my fault. Again.

"No," my father said.

I knew he was talking to me, but my mind didn't register his word, so lost I was in my own thoughts. He was wrong, of course. It _was_ my fault. Ever since I was born, I'd been putting their lives at risk. I was a monster.

"_No!"_ My dad yelled the word now, and it brought my attention back to reality. He struggled for his breath. "Ness," he said, just as forcefully, but with a new softness in his voice. "Ness, you _know _that's not true." I could feel the warmth radiating from his love. I couldn't help but believe him, his feelings were so powerful. I knew that this was Jasper's doing, showing me what I could not be told of Edward's overpowing, protective love for me.

I wrapped myself in that warmth, certain of its truth. Nothing else, not even the future, was for sure. Only love was. That I had love…love that, maybe, I didn't deserve at times. Maybe love I didn't deserve at all. Nonetheless, this was mine. The love of a family, the love of a mother and father and a best friend who would do anything for me.

And if something felt _this_ right, surely it couldn't die, right?

---

My family wouldn't let me go anywhere alone for the rest of the day. Jacob was in the rest of my classes. Edward and Emmett found excuses to pop in every single one of them, even though they weren't scheduled in them. Between classes, Jacob wouldn't leave my side. When I needed to go to the bathroom, Bella went with me even though she had no use for a restroom. I felt a deep-rooted anger at the Volturi; the situation was more than mildly uncomfortable.

Not that I didn't love them all, but who wants to be watched at every turn? I hoped I could get some more privacy once we all got home. I still needed to work all of this out in my mind.

I could not have been more happy when the bell rang at the end of my last class: American History II. As I left, I didn't even look to see if Jacob was following behind me, though I was sure that he was. I went straight to my locker and flung my books in my bookbag. When I finished, I slammed the locker shut a little harder than was necessary. It didn't shock me to see Jacob right there, standing beside me.

"Wanna talk?" he asked.

"Not really," I said. I recoiled at myself, hearing the teenage brattiness in my tone. "Sorry."

Jacob sighed. I knew that he wouldn't let go without a fight. He put his arm up to my locker to corner me. Though I did have an avenue of escape, I doubted very much that he'd let me take it if I tried. He was intent on having a conversation.

"Then listen," he said. There was an overbearing forcefulness exuding from his body, which was inches from mine. "I will not let him get close to you, Ness." The words were a whisper, but for all of their intensity, he could have shouted them.

For a few seconds, I had trouble meeting his eyes. Finally, I forced myself to. "Jake…"

"Shhh…" He put his free index finger to my lips. "No one will hurt you," he promised.

"I'm not worried about me." I tried to calm the shakiness out of my voice, but I failed miserably.

He smiled, showing his perfect white teeth. "I'll be all right. Your parents, your family, they'll all be fine." The way he said it, I almost believed him.

"What if I…" I struggled for the next words, having forced them out of my head since lunch so my father wouldn't overhear. Defeated, I raised a hand up to his face, showing him the rest of my question, showing myself in the middle of the battle, defending my family and my_self _from this madman.

Jake's hand went up suddenly, slamming into the locker next to me and leaving a dent there. The point of that gesture wasn't to scare me with violence—I hardly flinched, having expected this reaction—but to physically trap me even further. I couldn't move. "No," he said simply, as if that was all there was to the discussion.

"It's me he wants, Jake," I argued. "If I—"

"_No,_" he repeated.

I don't know why I kept trying. I knew I wasn't going to win this one. My hand was still caressing his jaw. I brought a new image to my mind, one of the most painful I could think of: a picture of me standing behind watching as my mother and my father were ripped to pieces. The statement was clear. I wasn't going to let them sacrifice their lives for me.

"Damn it, Ness," he growled. He was angry now, and I could feel the heat of his wrath unfold.

"_Please," _I whispered. I hadn't brought my hand down. Tears formed in my eyes, and I didn't stop them from falling.

Jacob took his right hand from the locker and brought it to his face, gently grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand down to his chest. Through his skin, I could feel his heart beat. The blood flowing through through my veins reacted and synced itself to his pulse perfectly. That was my body's natural rhythm.

"Don't you see?" he said. His plea was stronger than mine. "Don't you see why I can't let you do that? What if you got killed?" I shook my head, not comprehending. "The fight would be over then. We wouldn't have to defend ourselves anymore."

The way he spoke now was chilling. He let my wrist go, and my arm fell to the side. I saw anger in his eyes…not the anger he had just unleashed on me, but something much, much stronger. This was more than rage, more than even hatred. In the depths of those dark orbs, something much more dangerous lurked. Bloodlust.

He continued, the menace in his voice growing with each word. "The only reason I'm not hunting them all down right this second is the fact that I'm not going to leave _you, _Renesmee. But if you _die—_and you're _not_ going to die unless you do something stupid—then I will spend my last moments making sure their last moments are filled with as much…_pain _as I can inflict."

I couldn't shy away from the absolute sincerity in the threat. Jacob didn't lie to me, and he wasn't lying now. And I had no trouble perceiving the message he was trying to send me. _My last moments…_ Suicide by revenge. He had the courage, I was sure. I wasn't going to make the mistake of putting it past him.

"You can't," I said a little louder than I had intended. For the first time since our conversation started, we risked being overheard.

But all around us students just walked by, not even trying to listen—not that they'd be able to hear the rest of our conversation, even if they did try. Jacob and the rest of my family had years to practice being discreet.

"I can, and I will," Jacob assured me.

This was as low as he could have gone, threatening his own life in order to get me to do as he wished. I was beyond pleading and fear now, finally reaching anger. Irrational anger, I knew, because all he had really done was tell me the truth…a truth I would have eventually figured out on my own. At the moment, though, my sense of logic was distorted by the cruelty of that truth, that he could throw away the one thing I treasured most.

I shoved him by the chest, as hard as I knew how. He was stronger than me, but he was also unprepared for the sudden onslaught and flew back into the middle of the hall, nearly knocking over a freshman girl in the process. I wanted to scream at him, to cry, and then to run away, but found I could do none of those things. Jacob stared at me, shocked. He wasn't mad at me, and he wasn't pained that I had pushed him so hard—the only thing I read in his face was extreme surprise: a neutral emotion.

My parents arrived before either of us could say anything more. As I looked over at him, and I saw something in my dad's eyes that made me recoil. It wasn't anger, not exactly, but it was just as fierce and decisive. I'd seen that determination in his eyes before, but never, until now, had it been directed at _me. _

Mom went straight for Jacob. "What did you do to her?" she yelled, and I thought she could have hit him right there.

Edward answered. "He told her what she needed to hear, Bella," he said, his eyes still on me.

Now people were starting to gather around. They couldn't know what we were fighting about—we'd have Alice start the rumor mill in the morning to throw them off track—but it was still quite embarassing to be in the middle of this spectacle on the first day of school.

Bella eased up a little and backed away from Jacob. She exchanged a glance with Edward that told her everything she needed to know, and then turned straight to me. Right then, I understood that I didn't have a single ally in my suggestion. Not that I was going to go through with it now, anyway, not with what Jacob had said.

"I think," she said, "you'd better ride home with us, Nessie."


	4. Three: Living and Dying

**Author's Note: **Hey! Thanks so much to Li22i096, anonymous-lemonade, Tara22, Lil-Evans, Ali-Chan1, and tigress33 for leaving awesome reviews on this story so far. And thanks to everyone who is reading this story, whether they've left a review or not. I hope I can keep everyone's interest with this next chapter...it's a little bit shorter than the previous chapters (but still a good seven pages on Word, so not that short). I'd planned on making it longer, but then I found that I had good place to end the chapter a little earlier than I wanted to at first. Oh well. Hope you like it! Don't be shy if you do (or don't), and leave a reply.

* * *

The car ride home took hours, literally. Bella was driving, and though she was usually slow, this was on a whole new level. After fifteen minutes, I realized that she was driving in circles around town in order to give Edward more time to talk to (at) me in private.

"It was an errant thought," I told him after the fifth lap around—the first time he'd actually given me any breathing room to get a complete sentence out. The clock in front of the car said it was past my dinner time, and my stomach grumbled.

"It was a _foolish_ thought," he corrected me.

That was when Bella made her feelings known. "I agree with you, Edward, but don't you think you're being a little hard on her? She agreed not to go through with her plan, and you know she's not lying." She said this in the calm, mesmerizing tone to which Edward could never resist succumbing. "Not to mention, Jacob seemed to get the point across firmly enough," she added.

I really wished, in that moment, that my dad could not read my mind like he could not read hers. I didn't want him to know that I could sense his jealousy that it had been _Jacob_ who had talked me out of going. Edward knew that if I had still been planning to join the fight, he would have to physically force me out of it. His lecture was fruitless. And I _hated_ that I let my realization of my father's failures into my mind, and, by default, his.

I took his pained silence for what it was—a kind of surrender. I felt tremendously guilty for hurting him, a feat that was too easy for me. So I banished his unenjoyable lecture from my brain, and instead focused on how much I needed him and Bella. I brought up memories of him teaching me to play the piano, of hunting with both of them, of them standing over Carlisle's shoulder whenever he treated my ills. Sure, Edward worried too much, but what else could I ask?

We came to the house just a few minutes after that, having said all that needed to be said. I walked behind my parents inside, more slowly than them. I could not detect any residue of Jacob's scent; he wasn't here, and he hadn't _been _here.

"I'll get you dinner," Bella said when I closed the door behind me.

I only shook my head. I didn't feel hungry anymore, not like I had just half an hour ago. I didn't even crave blood—my normal dinner in New Hampshire. Though I hadn't had any lunch, the last thing I wanted was to indulge in a "human" diet that did not even taste good. I hated eating meals other than breakfast, though my parents were trying hard to change my ways. I planned on making Jacob take me hunting this weekend. Then I wouldn't need to eat as much.

But Jacob was probably…well, wherever he had found a place to live. And no doubt, he was angry at me, or else he'd be here. _I shouldn't have lashed out at him, _I scolded myself. My heart felt like it was collapsing onto my stomach. Why had everything gone wrong?

My mom acknowledged my refusal. "You know we can't let you go to school hungry…or thirsty," she said.

"Fine," I said. I could not find an emotion to put behind the word, and I could not find the will to argue. She didn't push the issue, though, and escaped into the kitchen.

I followed her. "Do you want help?" I asked, forcing a smile. I felt ashamed for being so impolite, and wanted to make it up to her. On the inside, my enthusiasm was lacking, but I attempted to fake some.

It must have worked, because she returned the smile as she grabbed a round pan from a cabinet above the stove. "Get out one of the frozen pepperoni pizzas from the freezer," she said, and I obeyed.

My mom was a good cook, better than anyone else in my family, but frozen pizza was always a failsafe option. After she placed it in the oven, we had twelve minutes to kill before it was ready. She sat down at the table, and motioned for me to take a seat by her. A mother-daughter talk. I should have known that it was coming as soon as Bella could get me alone.

I obliged her, and even started the conversation. "I was telling the truth in the car. I won't risk my life if Joham finds us." _If,_ I said, not _when. _I didn't want to admit how imminent this danger really was.

"This isn't about Joham," she said. My heart sank even further than my stomach this time. If she didn't want to talk about the threat we were facing, there was really only one other possibility, and one I certainly did _not_ want to talk about at the moment.

"Jacob," I said softly. I never noticed before that everything in my life seemed to come back to him somehow. For better or for worse, we were connected.

She reached out and put her hands over mine, which were resting on the table. "I know how much you care about him," she said. I wondered if that were true, if anyone could truly understand the depth of my feelings for Jacob. I sure couldn't. Bella continued. "But I'm worried that the way your life and your happiness revolves around him isn't healthy for you."

I held back a snort. I shouldn't have laughed, I know, but the idea of my mother, of all people, telling me that I was involved in an obsessive relationship was hysterical. "He's the only friend I've got other than my family," I told her. "I get lonely without him."

"You'd die for him," she argued. "That may seem noble, but think about how deep you're in."

"There's a difference between living for someone and dying for someone," I told her. I honestly didn't know what the difference was, but I wasn't going to concede to her. Not about this, anyway. "Besides, you'd die for me or Dad."

"That's different," she protested.

"How?"

She pursed her lips. Did she even have an answer? "I truly love you both, and you love me back," she said at last.

Now she was starting to go too far. "And I don't love Jacob. He doesn't love me." That statement sounded so ridiculous on my tongue that it didn't even require disproving.

She didn't have anything to say to that. Silence consumed us for the next few minutes. I tried to hold my indignation in check, to keep any of it from showing on the outside. I could live with her warnings about getting too close to Jacob, but something else bothered me about what she had said. Or didn't say. The unspoken thoughts, the words behind her words. She actually believed that I could not love Jacob as much as she loved Edward—that whatever would arise between the two of us would never be nearly as strong as the bond between them. The arrogance in this notion was enough to tempt me to stomp up to my bedroom, frozen pizza be damned.

I would not deny that she loved Edward, more than she loved me even, but it was hardly fair that I should be deemed incapable of such love. I was her daughter, after all. Though I vowed to take a much healthier approach to falling in love than she had, be it with Jacob or some random guy from school, when it did happen I would not hold back any of the passion or feeling that she and Edward had passed on to me.

The buzz of the oven timer brought both Bella and I to our feet. She pulled the pan out, no potholders necessary, and set it on the counter. She didn't need a knife, either, using her hands to cut the pizza into perfect slices. "How many do you want?" she asked as I grabbed a plate.

"Just two," I said. "I'll save the rest for tomorrow." I thought better of mentioning that I would be saving some for Jacob as well.

I scarfed down those slices as quickly as possible, not even bothing to use the plate I had gotten or to sit down. My vampire teeth came in handy for eating. They allowed for faster consumption, and I didn't have the bland taste in my mouth for too long. When I was done, I went to my room without dismissing myself.

I noticed his scent before I entered; it caught me by surprise. No doubt Edward knew that he was sneaking up there, which made me wonder what the whole point was of using the window instead of the door. Maybe he didn't feel like dealing with anymore "bloodsuckers" today.

I closed the door behind me to give us some privacy. This was the first time he'd been in my new room, and it was on the second floor, which must have provided a fun challenge for him.

"Are you angry?" were the first words out of my mouth. I didn't even give myself time to study his expression before asking; if I had, I probably would have noticed the ear-to-ear grin that I loved so much.

To answer, he took two long strides toward me and wrapped me in his tightest embrace, lifting me off the floor. I would have put my arms around him if they weren't trapped. When he placed me down, it took a moment for me to regain my balance. He used that moment to answer my question. "Nah, I'm proud of you."

I sat down on the edge of my bed and he sat next to me. "You're…_proud _of me? For assaulting you?" There could be no way that pushing Jacob was something I should not have been ashamed of. Even if he was being a jerk, he didn't deserve that. At least, not in my mind.

"You took a stand," he said.

"I lost," I reminded him.

"Naturally," Jacob told me. "I'm a lot more experienced at winning battles than you are."

I couldn't banish the flicker of resentment that arose in me. Was that what this afternoon had been about for him? Winning? Should I congratulate him on being the most manipulative best friend in the world? "Maybe you should run a victory lap," I said, and looked away from him.

"Come on, Nessie," he said, rubbing my shoulder. I still didn't turn my head. Childish, yes, but I now remembered _why_ I had pushed him. I wasn't any less angry, just more calm. "You know I've always protected you and given you whatever you needed."

"Almost," I said curtly.

I heard him sigh. He tucked my hair behind my ear. "You're still so young, Ness."

At that, I turned around abruptly, causing him to startle back just a little. Yes, I knew I was young, but I was mature beyond my years in the ways it most mattered. "I'd be ready if you'd let me be ready," I snapped.

His answer was to shake his head. "I don't want you to be ready."

"Why not?" My voice rose with the question.

"Because you've barely had a life," he said, matching me in tone. He inhaled like he was trying to reel in his emotions. His next words were quieter. "What I mean is, you'll be six-years-old next month. Six years, trust me, is not a long time. Not long enough. Think of all you haven't done because you haven't had the time yet."

I tried to do what he asked, and I supposed what he was saying was true. But as far as I could tell, I lacked nothing in my life. At least, nothing that I could put a finger on. It would be a lie to say I felt that I was complete. Jacob was right. Death scared me. I couldn't understand my family's fascination with humanity because I couldn't imagine being anything other than immortal. Part of that was a fear of the unknown—whatever kind of afterlife would greet me. But another part of me said that my aversion to death was more of a fear of _not living. _I loved life too much to let it go.

"Ness, I know that there are things worth dying for," he continued. I nodded. "I just want you to understand…some of those same things, they're worth living for, too."

_There's a difference between living for someone and dying for someone,_ I'd told my mom. My parents were more than willing to give their lives so that I would be safe. But they only lived for each other, and if one of them were to die, I didn't doubt that the other would soon follow willingly, even if I begged for it to be otherwise. As for me? I was still trying to work all of that out in my head. I couldn't imagine the type of pain that would make me want to die. If Jacob died…but I didn't allow myself that thought. It was impossible.

I fell back onto my bed, leaving my feet dangling off the end. "Did you mean it when you said that if I were killed, that you would…" I trailed off, but he got what I was trying to ask.

He growled as he fell beside me. I read an odd mixture of anger and contentment on his face—those two emotions, of course, were pointed in completely different directions. "It wouldn't be right if you died and they lived," he said.

"So revenge is worth dying for?" I asked.

I thought that would have hit a sore spot, but Jacob smiled. "Maybe. If I had nothing left to live for."

I stared at the ceiling, thinking. "You're vowing to avenge me," I said, more to myself than to him. He heard it anyway.

"I'm praying I never have to."

I closed my eyes, realizing that I was worn out. "Jake?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Stay here tonight." I took a deep breath and let his heat invade my lungs as he leaned in toward me. His smooth lips pressed against my forehead. I couldn't understand why his scent digusted my family so much; to me, there was nothing sweeter.

The sound of a pillow ruffling beside me as he lay his head down—his acquiesence to my request—brought me peace. I could rest easy in the knowledge that he was next to me, always ready to protect me.

"I forgot to mention," he said, bringing me out of my reverie and causing my eyes to open to look at him, "you look very beautiful today. More than usual, I mean."

I smiled at him. I had forgotten about the ensemble Alice had laid out for me that morning. My appearance was the last thing on my mind, and hearing Jacob associate the word "beautiful" with me…well, that brought about a strange kind of euphoria in me that could have made me giggle, if only I wasn't feeling so tired.

"More beautiful than that Veronica Grey?" I asked, but only to tease him. That girl practically oozed sexiness out of her pores—we certainly were not in the same league.

To my surprise, Jacob laughed. "Your father had a class with her. He told me some of her thoughts. Apparently, she took quite a shine to me." He laughed some more. I knew what that meant. He was telling me that the idea he would find her attractive was completely ridiculous.

"Not to me," I gathered.

Jacob shook his head. "Some of her fantasies were rather…intense," he said.

I grimaced. _Ew. _It hadn't been two years since I'd exited the "boys are icky" stage, and I was still getting used to the idea of human sexual passions. Maybe when I got older the idea would not be so repulsive to me. "Too much information," I said.

"Not her fantasies about me, necessarily. About you." I blinked at him. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "Not like that. I mean, she liked me. And she was envisioning scenarios that would force you out of the picture."

Oh. Well, that made more sense. "Let me guess: these fantasies of hers involved me dying some horrible death and and then she would comfort you in your grief," I said.

He nodded. "Your dad told your mom, and well, your mom wasn't very happy at all. He thought he was going to have to restrain her."

The visualization of my mom screaming at Veronica kind of creeped me out, but it was a humorous thought. As long as Bella didn't get violent…and she had pretty good self-control for a vampire. There was something else that was bothering me, though.

"You didn't answer my question," I said.

Jacob ruffled my hair with his hand. "Veronica Grey's got nothing on you," he said.

I laid my head on his shoulder, ready to fall asleep with his arms around me. "It's still early, isn't it?" I stifled a yawn. I still needed to change into my pajamas if I was ready to fall asleep, which I was. Today had been nothing if not exhausting. "I hope Joham doesn't find us tonight," I said as an afterthought.

I felt Jacob's body stiffen. "He won't," he said tightly.

We stayed like that for what must have been nearly an hour. I never fell asleep, savoring each moment. I don't know how I found the will to get up from that position. Maybe it was his snoring, or maybe it was the fact that my arm was starting to tingle. Whatever it was, something motivated me to leave him alone, if only for a few minutes, so I could brush my teeth and do all of the things that my family didn't need to worry about.

I met Edward on the way to the bathroom, and he stopped me. "Forgive me for my harshness to you this afternoon," he said.

The hours-long car ride I had suffered through was the farthest thing on my mind. I had others worries; we all did. "It's fine, Dad," I said.

He shook his head. "No, it isn't." The seriousness in his expression rattled me. I was getting a famliar vibe from him, like I was feeling his guilt. He didn't think he was worthy of me. I didn't know why he thought that, but it was something I'd never quite gotten used to. There was no reason for it. He was the best father in the world.

He smiled as I thought that. "You're wrong, you know," he said.

About him being the best father in the world? I doubted that. I mean, there were times I got agitated with him and all that, but that was normal for teenagers, I'd heard.

"About what you were thinking in there, when you were talking to Jacob," he clarified.

"You were listening?" I almost amended his title of "world's best father." That was pretty low, but somehow I wasn't surprised. Edward had a bit of a protective streak when it came to me and my mother.

He shrugged as if he had done nothing wrong, and I sighed. Some things would never change. "I do live for you," he said.

I looked away. "I believe you," I said. I was careful not to think about whether or not I was telling the truth. Even though my dad was a living polygraph, I had some experience at fooling him.

He took a step toward me and kissed me on the forehead like Jacob had a while ago. "We're going to get through this," he said. "I won't let anything happen to you. Neither will your mother."

"Thanks," I said, and he walked past me with one last caress on my shoulder. I tried not to think about what he was off to do with my mom, as I made my way into the bathroom.

The pain started as my hand went to grab my toothbrush. My last coherent feeling was regret that I had locked the door… My head could have exploded for the burning sensation that overcame me. In that moment there was nothing but unbearable agony. I hadn't made a conscious effort to fall to my knees, to cradle my forehead in my palms—that was just the only way to keep my body from losing itself in convulsions.

I heard a man's voice…in my head?…silky, seductive, dangerous: _You cannot survive without giving in. You can never defeat the Volturi. I am your only chance. _

There was a loud crashing sound behind me, and then something was squeezing me so hard that I could hardly breathe.

There were more voices around me, only these weren't _inside_ of me. They could have been coming from a thousand miles away. The frantic sound of my name made me wonder if I was dying, but that wasn't possible. The ache continued, showing no signs of subsiding. The next overwhelming sound was a horrible groan…mine.

"Renesmee," whispered someone into my ear.

I knew that voice: deep and husky and beautiful. I forced myself to look around and focus on something, anything, other than the pain. I saw his perfect face; my personal guardian. I tried opening my mouth to talk, but found even that difficult to manage. "_Jake,_" I coughed out, and then my senses shut down and left me in a world of darkness and silence.


End file.
